REVIEW: Captain America The First Avenger

Dir.: Joe Johnston
With: Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving

I am so tempted not to write anything apart from “it’s shit”.

But I guess I’m feeling disciplined right now so I’ll elaborate on the statement above. “Captain America” was literally the dullest thing I have seen in years. I didn’t think that something this big, seemingly thought-out and expensive could ever be so unbelievably boring. It lacks wholesomeness, unity and flare. It takes itself way too seriously and the plot is completely disjointed.

Chris Evans seemed to be uncomfortable in his leotard, the CGI in the beginning of the film where he is supposed to have a 12-year-old boy’s body was very unconvincing. He was so much better as The Human Torch in "Fantastic Four". The battle scenes were needlessly over-dramatised; the main baddie, played by Hugo Weaving, was laughable in his terrible red latex mask. There was absolutely no chemistry between Captain America and his love interest, even I could probably fake more affection towards a coat hanger.

It was also remarkably cliché and lacked any soul. Most of the scenes were pastiches from other superhero or action films and the movie failed to engage me completely. It just ticked boxes like ‘big explosion’, ‘main hero looks on with a furrowed brow’, ‘the baddie has an evil laugh’. It kind of reminds me of a typical power point presentation with bullet points – see, here is the hero saying something inspirational, here he is rooting for the underdog…you get the picture. On a more personal note, I find that 3D films discriminate against people who wear glasses. My nose is not long enough to support two pairs at the same time.

All in all, I cannot believe I wasted two hours of my life on this miserable failure of a film.